Archive for November, 2007
How To Apologise
The one thing my Mum used to say I was totally rubbish at was apologising – but actually that was only to her (those closest to you and all that). Ironically, now that she’s gone I think I’m actually far, far better at it than many people.
I’ve had two experiences this year where misunderstandings, misinterpretations [...]
The one thing my Mum used to say I was totally rubbish at was apologising – but actually that was only to her (those closest to you and all that). Ironically, now that she’s gone I think I’m actually far, far better at it than many people.
I’ve had two experiences this year where misunderstandings, misinterpretations or miscommunications have resulted in disappointment, upset and hurt.
In both cases, I have tried to take my full share of the responsibility, apologise for my part in the matter and try and understand what went wrong.
In both cases, the other parties have done the exact opposite – accepted my responsibility in the matter but not fully accepted theirs; made a ‘qualified’ apology which they’ve then used to try and further their point or excuse their behaviour; and rather than try to mend bridges, carried on unwittingly (or perhaps not) destroying them and digging themselves even deeper into a hole.
Having learnt heaps from both scenarios, here is my take on how to make an effective and meaningful apology…
- Fully accept and acknowledge your part in a misunderstanding and don’t use the fact that the other party may even have given you a ‘get out’ to let yourself off the hook. It most certainly takes two to tango and if there’s been a misunderstanding or miscommunication then there’s a big chance that you were just as much at fault as the other party.
- If you do apologise, then make sure you mean it – don’t ruin it by saying “I’m sorry but….” and then qualifying your apology or trying to further explain your side of the argument or behaviour.
- Try and see if from the other side – most people don’t go out of their way to screw someone over or hurt them. If you make an attempt to see the other point of view, then it can make it easier to understand and see why your actions may have exacerbated the problem. If nothing else, apologise for this and demonstrate to the other party that you appreciate where they’re coming from.
Misunderstanding and miscommunications are just human nature – we all communicate in very different ways. It takes a lot of time and effort to build up trust between people which can so easily be destroyed with one hasty action.
An apology can mend a lot of things…but only if it’s an effective one.
BTW – if you want a great example of a good apology, check out Pam Slim’s here >>>
Daily Dose of Success #28: A Blogging ‘Pro’ Is Born
I woke up this morning to 3 bits of very exciting news…
I’ve been accepted as a guest writer on very popular blog, Freelance Switch who will also pay me to blog for them (and quite a decent rate too!)
Darren Rowse has asked if I want to do a semi-regular post for him on healthy blogging [...]
I woke up this morning to 3 bits of very exciting news…
- I’ve been accepted as a guest writer on very popular blog, Freelance Switch who will also pay me to blog for them (and quite a decent rate too!)
- Darren Rowse has asked if I want to do a semi-regular post for him on healthy blogging following my recent guest post on his massively popular blog, Problogger (no pay but great exposure).
- The editor of another very popular blog is interested in talking to me about becoming a blogger on that blog too – again for pay.
I only decided yesterday that I might just about be ready (and good enough) to approach some of these guys and see if they had anything going, so I shot off a couple of emails and here I am today “hired”.
Ok, so I’d actually done a bit of leg work before that, built up some relationships with some key players and a built a bit of credibility by being featured/interviewed on their sites but still…
Here I go…blogging onwards and upwards :-)
Sending Mixed Marketing Messages
I’m a bit baffled by this one…
I’ve just come across a website and blog whose very first message to new visitors is something along the lines of:
“We don’t take on new clients, but if you think you’re interesting enough, then go ahead and contact us”.
If that’s the case, why bother marketing yourselves??? Unless of course [...]
I’m a bit baffled by this one…
I’ve just come across a website and blog whose very first message to new visitors is something along the lines of:
“We don’t take on new clients, but if you think you’re interesting enough, then go ahead and contact us”.
If that’s the case, why bother marketing yourselves??? Unless of course you’re trying to convey scarcity or the fact that you’re so highly in demand you can’t even consider new clients. Still…it’s an odd thing to have as the welcome message on your website, don’t you think?
