Jealousy & Why It’s Not All That Bad

Posted by Lea

June 20, 2008

Most people will tell you that jealousy is an ugly emotion. They prefer to say that they’re “envious” rather than jealous because it sounds nicer (I know, because that’s what I do too!).

But honestly, sometimes when you sit down and look at what others have going on in their world and then you look at yours, it is hard not to be jealous.

I know that probably sounds rich coming from a girl who gallivants around the world living wherever she pleases, but I’m plenty jealous too….

Of people who have thousands more blog subscribers than I do.
Of people who own a penthouse in the V&A Marina Waterfront in Cape Town.
Of people who can travel on a plane and look fabulous at the end of 10 hour flight.
Of people who own an apartment at the Royal Phuket Marina in Thailand
Of women who are taller than me (although I don’t really mind being 5ft 1.5in but given a choice…)

The thing is, for me, being jealous only serves to drive me on to achieve what I want to achieve so that I don’t have to be jealous anymore (except perhaps the height thing - and maybe the looking good after a long flight, I really don’t care that much but it would be nice) rather than depress the hell out of me because I’m not there yet.

Being jealous doesn’t have to be a negative, ugly emotion - it just depends on which way you look at it and how you choose to respond.

On Goals & Achievements

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Comments

Comment by Bart on June 20, 2008 @ 5:40 pm

I agree that looking at what others have and wanting to obtain those things can be very good. It can inspire us and drive our ambitions in the right directions.

The problem with using the term jealousy, though, is that it implies a sort of resentment against the other person because they have what you don’t.

Maybe there’s a better term to describe the feelings and emotions you describe above. Because it sounds like you’re not as jealous as you are inspired, motivated, or stirred to action by what you see that others have.

I am a bit jealous that you get to travel so much, though! I resent it! ;)

Comment by Anne-Marie on June 25, 2008 @ 2:09 am

I agree. I find myself wishing (”coveting”) that I had what others, more successful than I, possess. I suspect that no matter how successful, wealthy or complete my life is that there will always be another level to aspire to - or, to use the term you do, to be jealous of.

Comment by Lea on June 25, 2008 @ 5:15 pm

@Bart - It’s interesting what certain words can mean to us and what they can imply, isn’t it? I also resent those people who have *my* apartments ;)

@Anne-Marie - I think it’s part of human nature to keep striving for the next level whatever that may be…and to be jealous of, envious of or whatever term we use of those who have what we want…there’s always something, even if it seems we have everything!!